Understanding Seasonal Depression in Women and What Actually Helps (A Therapist's Guide)

When the cold months make everything feel harder, you’re not imagining it.

Before we start, I want you to know this. If winter feels heavier for you than it does for other people, you’re not imagining it. And you are not failing. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD aka seasonal depression) can make even the simplest parts of life feel harder. Many women tell me they feel much less motivated and more fatigued during these months—but the world keeps demanding the same from them.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone and you’re in the right place.

I am Jennifer, a trauma-informed therapist offering virtual therapy for adults in New York and Massachusetts, and in-person therapy in Brooklyn. I specialize in helping women navigate seasonal affective disorder, winter depression, and the unique challenges that arise when your body's need for rest conflicts with the demands of modern life. I support women who often look like they are doing fine on the outside, while inside they feel numb, drained, or lost from carrying so much for so long.

Women are about four times more likely to experience seasonal depression and it tends to hit even harder when you are already stretched thin. Let's talk about why—and more importantly, what you can actually do about it.

What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

Seasonal affective disorder (often called SAD or winter depression) is more than feeling tired when the days get shorter. It is a form of major depressive disorder that returns around the same time each year, most often in fall and winter (some even experience summer depression).

The light changes. The cold settles in. Your energy drops. Your body slows down. Your mind feels heavier. And you may feel more disconnected from yourself or the things that usually bring you joy.

Winter depression tends to show up when your nervous system is already carrying a lot. If you’ve been pushing, striving, taking care of others, or holding your breath through difficult seasons, your body may react more strongly to changes in daylight. 

It’s not just about the weather, it’s about what the darker months stir inside you (which can be surprising and uncomfortable).

Why Does Winter Depression Happen? The Science Behind Seasonal Affective Disorder

There are real, physical reasons why the winter months feel so draining, especially in places like New York and Massachusetts.

1. The light is too weak

Above the 37th parallel (which includes the Northeast), winter sunlight is too weak for your body to produce vitamin D. And vitamin D plays a direct role in producing serotonin and dopamine — the chemicals that regulate mood.

When your vitamin D drops, so do these chemicals (and with them your mood). This is why vitamin D deficiency is so closely linked to seasonal depression symptoms. Your fatigue, flatness, or low motivation during seasonal depression are not imagined, they’re biochemical.

2. Your body wants a different pace (and modern life ignores that)

Historically, winter was a time for slowing down, restoring, and turning inward. Your body still carries this ancient rhythm, even if your job, family, or responsibilities don’t make space for it.

Our cells respond to the same light that affects plants; our energy ebbs and flows with natural forces.

This mismatch—your body wanting rest while the world expects productivity—creates a unique kind of exhaustion. You’re not just fighting the weather. You’re fighting thousands of years of biological rhythm that says winter is for rest.

3. Winter stirs emotional layers we’ve tried to push aside

For many women, winter is not just about low energy and vitamin D deficiency. It’s also the season of forced proximity to family dynamics that hurt. The holidays bring pressure to gather, celebrate, be grateful, and to be “on.”

And for many women, this season brings complicated family dynamics, loss, or reminders of what they didn’t receive.

Winter amplifies all of this. The cultural messaging around family, togetherness, and joy can feel like salt in a wound when your reality doesn’t match the Instagram version of the holidays.

If you feel pulled back into old roles, or if gatherings leave you drained or invisible, nothing is wrong with you. Your body is not wrong for responding this way. It’s communicating.

Common Signs of Seasonal Depression

Emotional shifts

• Feeling low or sad most of the day

• Feeling numb or disconnected

• Feeling heavy or hopeless

• Irritability that seems to come out of nowhere

Physical changes

• Sleeping too much

• Waking up tired

• Craving carbs or sugar

• Low energy that doesn’t feel like you

Mental changes

• Trouble focusing

• Feeling overwhelmed by small tasks

• Losing interest in things you usually enjoy

Behavioral changes

• Avoiding social plans

• Pulling back from people you love

• Feeling like you’re moving through fog

If these patterns show up every year around the same time, you may be experiencing seasonal depression.

How to Treat Seasonal Depression: Evidence-Based Strategies That Actually Work

The good news is that there are concrete, evidence-based ways to treat seasonal affective disorder and support yourself through these months. Here are proven treatments for winter depression that mental health professionals recommend.

1. Address Vitamin D Deficiency for Seasonal Depression

Since vitamin D deficiency contributes directly to seasonal depression symptoms and low serotonin levels, addressing it should be one of your first steps in treating SAD.

• Ask your medical provider about testing your vitamin D levels

• If your levels are low, supplementing Vitamin D can help (with medical guidance)

• While it is difficult to get enough vitamin D from food alone, adding vitamin D–rich foods can help (fatty fish, egg yolks, fortified foods)

2. Bring More Light into Your Day

Light therapy is one of the most effective treatments for seasonal affective disorder and is often recommended as a first-line treatment by mental health professionals.

• Open curtains immediately upon waking

• Get outside during daylight hours, even when it’s cold. Even brief exposure to natural light can help regulate your circadian rhythm.

• Consider a 10,000 lux light therapy lamp

3. Set Boundaries That Honor Your Body's Rhythm

This is where most advice fails women. You have been told to exercise more, socialize more, stay busy. But what if the answer is actually to do less?

Winter is not the season to push yourself into overdrive. Lower your expectations intentionally. Keep things to the bare minimum. What are the essential tasks that must get done? Focus there. Everything else can wait.

Protect rest like it’s sacred. Historically, people understood that winter called for more sleep, more stillness and more time indoors. Give yourself permission to go to bed earlier. Say no to evening commitments that drain you. Cancel plans without guilt when you need to.

Build in buffer time. If you normally need 30 minutes to get ready, give yourself 45 in winter. If a task usually takes an hour, block 90 minutes. Everything feels harder when your energy is low. Plan for that.

Create non-negotiable quiet time. Even 15-20 minutes a day of truly restful activity—reading, journaling, sitting quietly with tea—can help. This is not about productivity. It is about giving your nervous system space to settle.

4. Choose connection that nourishes you

You need connection, but you don’t need to show up to everything.

• Prioritize quality over quantity. One meaningful conversation with a close friend will do more for you than three obligatory social events. Be selective.

• Ask for what you need. If you want company but don’t have energy for going out, invite someone over or catch up on a phone call instead.

• Let go of social obligations that drain you. You do not owe anyone your presence. Protect your energy for the people and spaces that actually nourish you.

5. Shift Your Relationship With Productivity

This is the hardest one for high-achieving women, but it matters most. Winter is not for growth. It is for slowing down. Nature doesn’t bloom all year long, and you’re no different. Your body is allowed to follow the same rhythm. 

In these months, measure success differently. Celebrate getting through the day without running on empty, saying no to something that would’ve drained you, or speaking to yourself with a little more kindness when everything feels hard.

Rest isn’t “doing nothing.” Rest is what lets you come back to yourself. Just like the earth needs quiet before spring growth, you need periods of rest to restore yourself as well. Winter gives you permission. You don’t have to fight it.

If you’re tired of pushing yourself harder and still feeling like it’s never enough, this blog can help you understand where that inner critic comes from and how therapy supports a kinder way of relating to yourself.

6. Manage Holiday Stress and Difficult Family Dynamics

The holidays don’t have to look the way they’re “supposed” to. Seasonal depression can feel heavier this time of year, especially when family dynamics are tense. You get to decide what is right for you.

Give yourself permission to skip gatherings that leave you drained. It’s okay to leave early or say, “That doesn’t work for me.” Your peace matters more than tradition.

If you do go, set your limits ahead of time — how long you’ll stay, what topics you won’t engage in, and how you’ll step away if things feel overwhelming. Having a plan reduces the pressure to react in the moment.

And if grief shows up, let it. Missing someone, or grieving the family you wish you had, is human. You don’t have to hold it in or pretend you’re fine.

You can also create new traditions that feel better for you now—time with chosen family, volunteering, traveling, or a quiet day at home. Make the day about what brings you peace, not what you think you should be doing.

And if you already know this season will be hard, reach out for extra support. Schedule extra therapy sessions or call people when things feel overwhelming. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it alone.

If family gatherings leave you drained, tense, or pulled back into old roles, this blog explores why those patterns show up and how therapy helps you stay grounded, set boundaries, and care for yourself through it all.

Finding Help for Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal affective disorder is real. The biology is real. The cultural mismatch is real. And your exhaustion is real.

You are not broken. You are not failing. You’re a human being living in a body that is responding exactly as it should to reduced light, lower vitamin D, and a pace of life that ignores thousands of years of seasonal wisdom.

The work is not to fix yourself. The work is to create a life that honors your actual needs, especially in winter.

As a trauma-informed therapist specializing in women's mental health, I help clients navigate seasonal affective disorder, set boundaries that protect their wellbeing, and build a life that works with their body instead of against it.

You don’t have to keep pushing through seasonal depression alone.

Reach out when you’re ready, I’d be honored to support you.

This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice or mental health care. The content reflects general knowledge and opinion, not personalized treatment. Reading this blog does not create a therapeutic relationship. Please consult a licensed professional for support.