Working a Job You Hate? Why You Stay Stuck (And How to Finally Break Free)
You don’t have to push through another workweek in survival mode.
If you’re here, chances are you’ve been quietly carrying the weight of a job that drains you. Working a job you hate might look like success on the outside, but inside? It’s exhausting. You wake up already counting the hours until you can rest again. And you’re wondering: Is this it? Is this really what work is supposed to feel like?
I’m glad you’ve landed here.
I’m Jennifer, a trauma-informed therapist offering EMDR and DBR to women in New York and Massachusetts who feel stuck in cycles of striving, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion. Whether you’re navigating a career shift, questioning everything, or just trying to get through the day, I offer virtual therapy across both states and in-person sessions in Brooklyn. Together, we’ll figure out what’s keeping you stuck and gently reconnect you to your clarity, courage, and capacity for change.
Ready to get started? Reach out for a free consultation or learn more about how my services can support your next step.
When Every Sunday Feels Like a Countdown to Dread
If you’re working a job you hate, you probably know the feeling: that low, anxious buzz that starts creeping in around Sunday afternoon. By evening, it’s a full-on pit in your stomach. You haven’t even clocked in yet, but you already feel drained.
Just getting through the day can take everything you’ve got. You watch the clock. You lose patience quickly. You find yourself zoning out, snapping at loved ones, or fantasizing about quitting without a backup plan (maybe just disappearing into a cabin in the woods?).
It’s not just about disliking the work. It’s the way it seeps into every part of your life. You’re constantly tired, easily overwhelmed, and resenting how much energy it takes just to survive the day.
If you’ve ever caught yourself whispering, "I hate my job," or Googling how to deal with a job you hate for the tenth time this month, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not lazy or broken. This is what survival looks like when you feel trapped.
Why You Stay Even When You Know It’s Not Right
On paper, maybe your job looks "fine." A steady paycheck, benefits, coworkers who mean well. So why can’t you leave? Why does the thought of making a change feel so impossible?
Here’s what I see in my therapy practice all the time:
Fear of failure (What if I leave and it doesn’t work out?)
Financial fears (I can’t afford to lose this income.)
Guilt (Other people have it worse. I should just be grateful.)
Family pressure (My parents think this job is a dream come true.)
Then there are the deeper, often unconscious beliefs:
Security is more important than happiness.
Wanting more means I’m selfish.
If I quit, I’m a quitter.
Maybe I’m the problem, not the job.
These aren’t just thoughts, they're career change mindset blocks tied to how you’ve been shaped by past experiences, culture, and the nervous system. Which brings me to the next piece…
Feel like you're always putting others first (even when it costs you?). Learn why people-pleasing might be a trauma response and how therapy can help you reconnect with your own needs. Read more here.
It’s Not Just in Your Head, Your Nervous System Is Trying to Keep You Safe
When you feel stuck in a job you hate, it might feel like a personal failure. But it’s often a nervous system response.
Here’s what I mean:
Fight: You fantasize about confronting your boss, rage-quit emails, or daydreaming about big career moves.
Flight: You scroll job boards obsessively, change tabs every time someone walks by, or mentally check out.
Freeze: You can’t make decisions. Everything feels foggy. You stay still because moving feels dangerous.
This is your body doing its best to protect you. When you’ve learned that risk equals danger, your system will try to shut it down before it happens.
So if you're wondering why can’t I leave my job? the answer might be: your nervous system doesn’t yet feel safe enough to let go. (Frustrating? Yes. But also something we can work with.)
Ever been told you're “too sensitive”? If you feel deeply and carry shame about it, this one's for you. Learn how healing the shame of being a highly sensitive person can open the door to deeper self-trust.
How Brain-Body Therapies Like EMDR and DBR Help You Unstick
This is where brain-body therapies come in. I use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and DBR (Deep Brain Reorienting) in my therapy work because they help shift stuck survival responses (not just through talking, but through healing at the root).
Both EMDR and DBR work with your nervous system to:
Rewire patterns of fear, guilt, or self-doubt
Heal earlier experiences that shaped your beliefs about work, safety, and worth
Build capacity to tolerate the unknown (so you can make decisions without shutting down)
Strengthen the parts of you that know what you want but haven’t felt allowed to act on it
These therapies are especially supportive during big transitions. If you're considering a career change and feel frozen by fear, therapy for career transition can help you move forward without abandoning yourself.
If you’re curious, I wrote more about how these two therapies work here: What Is DBR? and EMDR vs. DBR.
What Real Freedom Starts to Look Like
You don’t need to have it all figured out to start feeling better. But something does shift when your nervous system isn’t in panic mode.
Instead of spiraling in doubt, you might notice:
You can think more clearly
You trust yourself a little more
You start imagining real options
I’ve worked with many people who felt totally stuck. Carrying the weight of expectations, always being the responsible one, secretly feeling invisible. With support, they began to explore what they actually wanted (not what they were "supposed" to want).
Let’s imagine someone who starts therapy saying, "I know I hate my job, but I don’t even know what else I’d do." That first step! Just saying it out loud can unlock so much. Over time, this person might reconnect with parts of themselves that had gone quiet. They might realize they don’t need to make a dramatic leap. Just small, steady steps toward something more aligned. And they don’t have to do it alone.
Working a Job You Hate: You Don’t Have to Make the Leap Alone
If you’re working a job you hate, the first step isn’t quitting. It’s getting curious about what’s keeping you stuck.
Therapy can offer a space that’s not about pushing you into a decision. It’s about slowing down enough to hear yourself again. To understand the fears, the blocks, the old stories—and to shift them.
If you’re in New York or Massachusetts and feel ready to find out what’s holding you back, I offer virtual therapy across both states and in-person sessions in Brooklyn. We can work together using EMDR and DBR to gently support your clarity, courage, and next steps.
Reach out for a consultation to learn more about how these therapies support clarity during career transitions. You deserve work that doesn’t just drain you—but honors who you are.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice or mental health care. The content reflects general knowledge and opinion, not personalized treatment. Reading this blog does not create a therapeutic relationship. Please consult a licensed professional for support.
